My father was a great man. So is my husband. Ditto for my son. I think it’s time we praised such men. Now, if you happen to be someone who’s known mostly crappy men your entire life (which I find dubious), you won’t agree with my list of eight great things about men. But that doesn’t make the list any less true. Bad people don’t make their entire sex bad. When we come across a less-than-stellar woman, we don’t chastise the entire female population. On the contrary, we’re usually told there’s a perfectly good reason why she is the way she is. But we don’t extend this same grace to men.
When a few bad apples of the male persuasion emerge, we insist that men, as a rule, are bad. But that isn’t true. Men, as a rule, are good. More than good, actually. Here are eight great things about men:
- They’re easy to please. Men are remarkably easy to please. All he really needs when it comes to love is a kind woman who thinks he’s the berries. Give a man affection and respect, and he’s good to go.
- They don’t hold grudges. Most men are naturals at forgiving and forgetting. Say you’re sorry and mean it, and all will be forgotten.
- They love to be of service. Men love to be useful. Give them a project they can do, praise them, and thank them for doing it, and watch them shine.
- They’re great listeners. Since men aren’t the sex that talks a lot (research shows women talk some 13,000 words more per day than men do), that makes them great listeners. My son doesn’t talk much, but when he does say something it’s definitely worth hearing. That’s because he spends most of his days listening.
- They’re not demanding. It is rare to find a man who makes demands on women. This goes back to the fact that they’re “easy to please.” Since men don’t need much from women, they’re not likely to ask much in return. That’s not the impression people get from Hollywood, since so many films center on badly behaved men. But Hollywood isn’t reality.
- They don’t try to change women. There’s a well-known saying that goes something like this: “Women think men will change, but they don’t. Men think women won’t change, but they do.” Men are very accepting of the woman in their lives, warts and all. It’s an impressive trait.
- They willingly risk their lives. Men risk their lives in war, yes. But they also take deadly occupations that involve operating dangerous equipment, which drives the huge difference in workplace fatalities between men and women. In 2017, the fatality rate for men was about 10 times that of women: Five point seven per 100,000 vs. 0.6 per 100,000 for women.
- Once they commit, they stay committed. It may take some men longer to arrive at the altar, but once they’re in, they’re in. Roughly 70% of divorce in the United States is initiated by women. That means men are, ironically, better at commitment.
Does all of this mean men are perfect just the way they are and don’t have things upon which they can improve? No. But just for grins, let’s not focus on that. Instead, let’s honor what men get right and leave it at that.
It may never happen again.
Suzanne Venker (@SuzanneVenker) is a contributor to the Washington Examiner’s Beltway Confidential blog. She’s the author of five books and a relationship coach, as well as the host of The Suzanne Venker Show. Her website is www.suzannevenker.com.